How To Start Over In A Relationship
Has your relationship gone to a stage where it seems like nothing is working anymore? You have tried within your power to put things together but it appears that the more you tried, the more messed up it becomes, this could be so devastating and you need help. I understand how you feel, especially now that you are still so much in love the person and would not want the relationship to end. I have good news for you, instead of breaking up with this person that you are so much in love with, you can do something different, yes, you can start all over again! In this article which I will divide into four subheadings, you will be guided on how to start over in a relationship and stay happily thereafter. Let’s proceed.
How To Start Over In A Relationship Instead Of Breaking Up With Him
Starting up afresh in a relationship could be a bit difficult especially if you don’t have the basic guides that will help you. It involves a lot of sacrifices and making some amendments from your past mistakes and the determination to do the right things at the right time. Here are some tips that will help you start over your relationship.
1.Create a Little Space Between You and Your Spouse
When a relationship goes off the track, the first thing you have to do is to create a little distance between each other. How can this be done? Well, it may sound strange, but it is the most important thing to do. Take your mind off him or her, stop seeing each other for some times, stop calling, stop texting if possible, change your location temporarily. Creating some distance between both of you will help reduce the tension and make you think rationally. It will allow you to miss each other. The distance may just be for a few days or a week.
2. Have a Conversation and Tell Your Partner How You Feel
This should be done after giving each other some distance of at least 3 to 5 days. To do this, all you have to do is to call him or her and whisper softly; “baby, we need to talk, can we see today please?” When you finally meet, start up a conversation by acknowledging what had happened between the both of you, then tell him or her how you feel, your hurt and frustrations. This may not be an easy conversation but it is the best time the both of you have to express your thoughts and say whatever is in your mind.
However, you need to be careful here when describing your feelings. Always use the first person singular pronoun “I” instead of “We”. Say the way you feel and allow the other party to speak for himself or herself. An example is: “I feel humiliated each time you shout at me in public places” instead of saying “You humiliated me by shouting at me in public places”.
3. Say Things That Bother You
When having the conversation do it as if you were having it with your best friend. Say things that bother you in the relationship, speak audibly but not necessarily shouting. Raise your points in a manner that is easy to comprehend and do not claim a monopoly of talking. Limit yourself to at least 5 to 9 points per session and give the other person a chance to also say something. While the other partner is speaking, do not rush in to respond, but rather pay keen attention to whatever he or she is saying. You may decide to respond later.
4. Identify the Gaps and Potholes That Cause a Breach in Your Relationship
This could be done by asking your partner these two important questions; What am I doing less that you would want me to do more of it? What am I doing more than you would want me to do less or possibly stop doing it? Listen to the answers your partner will provide and work towards that. This will enable you to know your lapses and ways of making things right.
5. Be Very Sincere When Handling This Issue.
Remember what you have at hand, you are trying to revive a dying relationship by starting over again, if there is anything you would want to know about your partner, feel free to ask him or her. Use this opportunity to say whatever is in your mind and give a sincere and honest response to every question that he or she asks.
How To Start Over In A Relationship And Stay Happily Together
Starting from the beginning again implies that you throw away all of your bad characters and accept to change for good. All the things that your partner complained about should be looked Into and changes made. Let him see some tangible changes in your behaviour. These tips will help you do that;
1. Know When to Compromise
Yes, a compromise is necessary for a relationship if success and happiness are to be attained. You and your partner may have different opinions about a particular subject, if debating over the topic seems to bring more problems between the both of you, then it is advisable to compromise by looking at the topic in your partner’s point of view and admit to his points.
2. Check and Fix Problems
As a driver and car owner, when you get to the point where nothing works again in your car, you have to come from the car and check what is the problem, after identifying the problem, the next step is to fix the problem before you can enter the car to continue your adventure. You do this because you still value the car and don’t want to lose it. The same thing applies to our relationship. While trying to start over again, there are some important tips you should have at your fingers to avoid making even more disastrous mistakes.
3. Be a Best Friend to Your Spouse’s Friends.
This is the secret that many people do not know. Your spouse has someone that she calls his or her best friend. This is the person he or she always shares most of their secrets with. To be on a safe side, try as much as possible to maintain a close distance relationship with them too. They are the next people that can obtain a listening favour from your spouse, your spouse always listens to them. So in a situation whereby things turn out bad between both of you, your spouse’s best friend can speak some sense into her.
4. Do Not Dealt So Much on the Past
Forget about your past and focus on the new ways you want to make it up to your spouse. Reminding your partner of the past could be so devastating and should be avoided by all means.
5.Always Include Her in Your Schedule and Make Her One of Your Top Priorities.
There is nothing as sweet as seeing someone making you his top priority in a relationship. This means that the person truly loves, cherish and appreciates you in his life.
How To Stop Losing Yourself In A Relationship
If the relationship is suffering as a result of what people are telling you about your spouse, then you have to understand that the best thing to do is to approach your spouse and ask him questions based on what you have heard and not to start showing attitude towards your spouse. What if they were not saying the truth? Remember, not everyone loves seeing two people staying happily together, so they will always try to tell you things that will cause a breach in your relationship. These are tips on how to stop losing yourself in a relationship;
1. Learn to Do Some Sacrifices for the Sake of the Relationship
If you want to amend things to revive or start over again, then you must exhibit this quality of sacrificing somethings for the growth of the relationship. It could be your little time, attention, love or care.
Apologies to your spouse and promise him or her that you will never repeat such mistake. Asking for forgiveness is very necessary at this point. Calling, visiting the house or sending a text is fine depending on the situation of things going on around you and your partner. If you guys were still cool before the whole incident took place, visiting the house can be more effective than other options such as calling or sending text messages.
3. Remember Your First Love for Him or Her
The first time you met, you were so much in love and it seems like this will last forever, but as days go by, the love diminished and everything turned around. When trying to start over again, remember how you used to be when you guys met newly. Repeat those things you used to do back then that always made him or her happy.
4. Go for Counselling
Yes in most cases, it is always advisable to visit a counsellor for relationship advice. Things have gone beyond your control and you want to put down everything and start afresh, a counsellor can assist you in this direction.
5. Take Her Out on a Romantic Date
Spend some quality time with your spouse. Let her see the changes in you and always say positive things to her. Remember no one likes a pessimist, so always try and stay positive with your spouse.
How To Stop Doubting Yourself In A Relationship
Doubting could be so disastrous in a relationship because it breeds distrust, low self-esteem and over jealousy. You are doubting if the person you are dating truly loves you, every time you keep popping up the question; “Do you love me?” This is a no-no if you want to start over again. Stop doubting your spouse’s love for you, but rather trust him in everything. Doubting will only cause more harm than good. But how can you stop doubting your yourself in a relationship? These essential tips will help you.
1. Trust Your Partner Completely
Trust is the most important element that binds two partners together. Learn how to trust your partner in everything he or she says. Millions of relationship these days suffer separation because of lack of trust. Without trust, no relationship can survive. Maybe your partner might have done something in the past that broke your trust for him or her, but you don’t have to rely on your past. Let the past take care of itself, move on and accept the reality that is right before you. Partners that have trust issues are always arguing and fighting. There is no happiness in such a relationship.
2. Be Optimistic and Futuristic
Another Interesting tip on how to stop doubting yourself is to be a person who has good plans for the future and works towards it. Think positively and build up your self-esteem. Remember that you are unique in your way and anyone who wants to be with you must understand that you are someone who has good plans for the future.
3. Be Real and Maintain a High Level of Sincerity
Everyone likes someone who is living a real-life rather than a fake life. You have to establish a relationship on a fake foundation because it will not last. The best thing you should do is to be open to your partner. Be your real self and he or she will accept you for who you are.
Appreciate what he buys for you no matter how small it is. Learn how to say thank you when your spouse buys you some groceries, learn how to appreciate him or her no matter how miniature the gift may be. It takes love for someone to spend his money on another person, even though it’s a little time.
5. Be More Committed to Her
Commitment is one of the top notches when it has to do with a healthy and happy relationship. Showing commitment to your spouse will not only make him or her love you more, but it will also reveal to her how much you truly value the relationship. So in everything you do, always be committed to her.